Couples Counselling – making your relationship work.
Whether you want relationship counselling to:
- work through a current situation;
- find a clear direction (is this person right for me? Should I stay in this relationship?);
- improve your communication and understanding;
- or reconnect with one another;
let’s get together and discuss how we can work together.
When booking for couples counselling, I usually prefer to see the two people together, and then separately. I use this opportunity to ask each partner individually how they see the relationship progressing; what the other partner could do to make them feel loved and wanted; and how they feel they could improve the relationship. This interview will usually indicate to me whether a person actually wants the relationship to work or not. Our individual sessions are absolutely confidential but essential to help us get to grips with the real situation your relationship is in.
It is a lot more difficult to heal a relationship where one party already has ‘both feet out the door, but all is not lost. Many times minds change as communications opens, feelings are resolved and new understandings are found.
In some cases, partners bring childhood issues into their relationships. Fear of rejection, confidence issues, jealousy, possessiveness, insecurity – all of these are generated by past experiences. These would be dealt with on a one-to-one basis.
In relationship counselling, both partners have a responsibility to the relationship and should both be prepared to find a win-win solution.
Ending a relationship
Where couples decide that their best option is to separate, I will help them to do so amicably and with minimal harm to themselves, children and families. Mediation and agreements can also be prepared.
While behaviours can change, personality does not. I try to help my clients to understand one another’s gifts and personality, love languages, as this helps tremendously in enabling couples to relate to each other differently and with more understanding.
The mind is a wonderful slave, but a terrible master! In order to be the master of our lives and destinies, we must first become master of our own minds!
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